How To Find Your Style When You Feel Like It's Lost
I feel like at one point or another, we’ve all been here. This place where it’s not super comfortable, we feel a little lost, and don’t like what’s in our closet. So what’s our first gut reaction? To shop. I gotta get out there and shop to buy the new pieces I “need” to make me like my style again. That will surely solve the problem right? Well, yes but yes and no. Let’s unpack this…
The Underlying Cause of “loosing your style”
Why is this happening? Most of the time, we feel lost when it comes to style when we have gone through what I call, a “Lifestyle Change”. What is that??
A Lifestyle Change is when you go through any of the following:
A job change (promotion, career shift, retirement)
A body change (weigh fluctuation, health diagnosis)
A family shift (had a baby, a child moves out of the home)
A location change (you move)
Any time one of these things changes, it cause
So why not go shopping first?
Shopping isn’t the solution (yet). It’s like putting a bandaid on the cut. It will cover the style confusion at first, because of the dopamine high, but it won’t get to the root of the problem. You have first look inside and start to get to know yourself again. What does that mean? It means asking,
“What are a few things I want out of the Clothes I am Putting on My Body?”
“How do I want the clothes to make me feel everyday?”
LOOK INWARD FIRST
The point is, you gotta get back to who is wearing the clothing (you), who you are (you), and what you want out of the clothing you’re putting on (you). Start focusing on your needs (preferences). These preferences shift every time you go through a lifestyle change. What you wore when you went into your corporate job without kids isn’t the same as what you’re wearing for your working from home with one baby. See what I mean?
SO HOW TO I FIND MY STYLE (AGAIN)?
With my clients, I walk them through something I call, Style 101. It’s three steps you can take to redefine what you want for your style, so you can have clarity again. Only after you complete these three steps, should you think about shopping.
MAKE A WORD LIST //Make a list of words you want to represent your style (use words to describe your personality to begin)
CREATE A MOOD BOARD // Put those words to work by creating a mood-board with them - look on Google, Pinterest, or Instagram and use your words to find outfits that align with what you’d like to aspire to wear
PLAY // in your closet, pull out one piece at a time and use your words and mood board to see if that piece aligns with the style you’re trying to achieve. Do this one piece at a time and create a few basic outfits with this method. Compare them to your mood board to see if these outfits, the pieces individually, feel like the style direction you want to go in. Then you can start to play with outfits and develop a “gap list” of pieces you don’t have yet but might fill in the holes you see as your playing. (For example, if you have three trench coat outfits in your mood board and you have a great pair of jeans and a tee shirt in your closet but are missing that “third layer”, maybe a trench coat is a gap list item to shop for in the future.)
If you get this far and want help, I have developed an online style class, called Style 101. Style 101 walks you through how to do these 3 steps, so you can bring the energy you deserve, back into your closet. Sign up for STYLE 101 and start to get a better sense of who you are and what you want out of your style.